It was a typical session in my therapist’s office in the early 2010s. The topic? My deep sense of shame and the feeling that nothing I did was good enough. “It’s not that I’m a perfectionist. It’s just that everything I do and everything I say has to be perfect.” My therapist gave me a wry look. “Not a perfectionist?” she asked gently. When something is so integral to your being, to your sense of self, it can be hard to see it for what it is.